The Long Road Back

     Disappearing Acts.  We've all done them.  I'm not talking about the entertainment kind.  I'm talking about the kind we all do.  When we disappear, but yet are still physically present. When our friends and family see our smiles, and hear our voice, but inside we know we aren't quite there.  We're on an internal hiatus of sorts.  We could be distracted with work stress, struggles at home, or poor health.  A myriad of  life trials with endless possibilities. We all have them, they are all unique.  They cause us to feel not ourselves.  Our passions hindered and thoughts consumed.  We come and go throughout our lives.  Some, never even realizing they were gone until they return.  

Well, I'm back.

Suffering from chronic pain for the past several years has taught me my body's limitations. Of course, life doesn't always accommodate those limitations. Moving a household of seven, twice in less than two years has its downfalls. Of course, it has had it's many ups as well.  I have been blessed to add so many wonderful people to my life. People who have made a difference.  Made me a better person. But, to keep myself going.  To function as a mother, wife, and friend, I had to overcome the trauma my body faced. Medication and rest helped me physically, but I was missing.

Dustin continually encouraged me to write.  I didn't want to, and when I tried it ended in nothing but frustration.  I ignored the blog (obviously!). I ignored my books and characters. 

My back decided it was done with less invasive treatments and when bed rest did nothing for pain, my medications were switched.  As the medication I had taken for nearly a year for pain management wore out of my body, I found myself thinking of my books again.  It was as if a lock on my mind opened and suddenly my CREATIVITY and DESIRE began to flow.  

I had been missing, and didn't realize it until that moment.

The cause for a disappearance is always unique, but not always a bad thing,  Our lives, our beings are shaped by the collection of these moments.  They are the instrument in God's hands shaping us into who we need to become. 

 I don't regret my disappearance.  I look back and see all that I still accomplished, learned, and grew....but DANG I'm glad to be back!  :)